why did u care less

for quite sometime, i have tried consolidating my thoughts as well as extracting all the juices of my brain just to make me understand the darkness that i am into..now i understand, losing you would make my life more easier and lighter..

for the longest time, i adored you. i loved you more than i loved myself (now i know its wrong). i was blinded by the surging emotion i have towards you. i defied the negativity that the people around us were screaming. i gave you all the understanding, patience, love and trust that u need. yet, all remained unrewarded.

as i reflected, you never really cared. i was always giving but you never gave back. i know that love should never be anything about reciprocity but it takes a show of a little love and respect if you would know how to give back; to make the person you love feel that she is being loved. it nurtures the relationship and makes it more stronger.

now i know that fighting for a relationship can also be tiring specially if the person you are supposed to be fighting with care less and, to further crush your emotions, pushes you away.. it is somewhat humiliating and  humbling. however, eventually, you will realize that its not really worth fighting for..

the pain and hurt still strikes me sometimes. there are still times when tears fell at my pillowsheets without me noticing that i am crying.. that i wake up in the middle of the night and my face shows..  that i think of you when i would pass on a place that we talked about..and little fancy things that reminds me of you

now, as i decided to move forward and leave the emotional baggage i was carrying, i wish you happiness and contentment, i hope you will be able to find that something you are looking for that your heart really desires..

so long…